By the time I used to be 24 years previous, my life was in full shambles. I had long-standing substance abuse issues that destroyed my marriage to my highschool sweetheart and ruined a promising navy profession. As soon as divorced and ejected from the navy, I bought medication and trafficked weapons. My habit and unlawful enterprise culminated in an incident through which an harmless bystander was killed. I used to be convicted of second-degree homicide and sentenced to only beneath 30 years to life.
As soon as in jail, actuality was so exhausting to face that I did every thing I may to flee it. I misplaced much more of myself in medication, violence and jailhouse politics. In my extra lucid moments I knew that I needed to change, however I didn’t assume it was doable. Moreover, I did not know how you can begin. Then in the future, at age 30, I did probably the most benign-seeming factor that modified every thing: I stop consuming soda.
I wasn’t significantly well being aware, however I had learn some articles about how soda can contribute to well being points like diabetes and weight problems, and the way it can weaken tooth enamel. One article mentioned that if a tooth is positioned in a glass of cola in a single day, it should utterly dissolve by morning. That’s an city fantasy, nevertheless it did make me consider a trick I had realized within the Military, which was to pour a can of Coke within the laundry to assist take away grease from clothes.
So I made a decision I wasn’t going to drink soda anymore. It was a comparatively straightforward dedication to make in jail: I may solely purchase soda as soon as each two weeks after I went to the commissary, and consuming it chilly was a rarity since ice was exhausting to return by.
Nonetheless, it felt good to make the choice to deprive myself of one thing and keep it up. This was the primary time in my life that I had made that type of change, and it illuminated one thing I had solely vaguely been conscious of — {that a} main supply of my life’s issues was my lack of self-discipline.
That was a fact I had by no means acknowledged earlier than, as a result of to take action would have meant admitting weak point. My ego wouldn’t permit for that. Quitting soda introduced the issue into clear focus and gave me the boldness to attempt to do extra.
And I did do extra. I dedicated to lifting weights three days every week. Then 4. Then 5. The rise in my bodily power and the adjustments I used to be seeing in my physique additional stoked my confidence and motivated me to maintain going. So I realized to talk satisfactory Spanish, field and play chess. I taught myself to litigate by studying case regulation, follow aids and regulation journals and dealing on individuals’s circumstances. My newfound self-discipline even helped me stop smoking after which medication.
Together with my behavioral adjustments got here adjustments in the way in which I considered issues, and the way in which I felt about myself. If character is outlined as an individual’s sample of pondering, feeling and behaving, then I succeeded in altering mine.
Years later, in a psychology class, I got here throughout a idea of character change primarily based on the work of psychology professor and researcher Nathan W. Hudson. It posited that an individual can change their character in three steps. First, they have to consider that altering a side of their character is each fascinating and doable. Second, they have to work on altering behaviors which can be related to that facet, utilizing small, actionable targets. Third, their behavioral adjustments should turn into habits that calcify into traits.
I wasn’t interested by psychology after I began my technique of transformation. Nonetheless, my expertise lined up with what I later realized. Quitting soda was my the first step. That easy act allowed me to hint the catastrophic outcomes of my life again to my lack of self-discipline, and it satisfied me that change was doable.
Step two was to make extra behavioral adjustments associated to self self-discipline, like lifting weights and studying to play chess. By selecting comparatively minor adjustments at first, and implementing them incrementally, they had been straightforward for me to maintain.
This led to step three: My new behaviors changing into habits, and people habits elevating my degree of self-discipline. This elevation allowed me to sort out extra important behavioral adjustments like quitting smoking and medicines.
After years of repeating this three-step cycle, I can say that I’ve altered my character. I’m now some of the disciplined individuals I do know. Because of this, I’ve had many constructive developments in my life.
I earned an affiliate diploma, graduating on the prime of my class. I’m at the moment on monitor to do the identical whereas incomes my bachelor’s diploma. I used to be chosen to talk to state legislators and the lieutenant governor about increasing faculty in prisons. I obtained paralegal certification, and I work within the regulation library serving to others train their rights in court docket. I educate the authorized analysis class and tutor different faculty college students. I counsel highschool college students as a part of the Youth Help Program. And I married probably the most excellent girl on the planet.
On the floor, this story could look like one in all triumph. In actuality, nonetheless, it’s one in all bitter irony. Solely after inflicting a lot struggling was I in a position to make the adjustments that would have prevented that violence and tragedy within the first place. However the worst of what’s achieved can’t be undone. I can by no means make up for the previous, however I can attempt to offset it as a lot as doable by being the perfect individual I can going ahead. I’m getting higher on a regular basis, and I owe all of it to quitting soda.
Eric Williams is a regulation clerk, author, trainer and advocate at Shawangunk Correctional Facility in New York. In 2024, he was chosen by the State College of New York as an envoy for the growth of upper schooling in jail. He’s serving 30 years to life for second-degree homicide and associated costs.
